Wow, what a dull week we all had! Just like our days usually are at school, only without the benefit of each other’s company. For the most part, we all just hung out, slept, worked, and watched TV. Luckily, we all managed to catch up on American Idol, and get some extra rest in.
We can’t wait to get back to school on Sunday!
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Friday, March 11, 2011
Meeting Biggie
One day, we decided to join Caitlin on her morning constitutional, wandering aimlessly with her into the woods of Brockton. After several hours of meandering pointlessly, we heard some branches breaking and a dog howling nearby. Curious, we decided to investigate the noises. As we got closer to what sounded like shuffling steps on the forest floor, we realized that a large and hairy hip-hop fan was practicing his moves in the middle of the Brockton woods. Approaching the strange figure - to compliment his moves - we noticed that he looked oddly familiar, and yet different at the same time.
He jumped in surprise when we approached him, and seemed rather frightened by our sudden appearance.
“Ay yo wutz goin on, bitchez?”
At first, none of us could return his greeting, because of the mass quantities of hair on his face that were rather shocking, but then Megan stepped forward and asked the man what he was doing in the woods.
“Whatchu doin in deez woods, man?” she asked casually.
To which he replied that this was his place of residence: “This mah crib, ho.”
Suddenly Julia exclaimed, “Oh my god, it’s Bigfoot!” holding up as evidence the picture she had just looked up on her phone after noticing a slight resemblance.
“Awh, sheeit,” Bigfoot responded unhappily. Before he could leave, we emphatically stopped him, explaining that we were not afraid of him, and would not tell anyone of his existence. As a show of good faith, Julia and Caitlyn both put away their camera phones. The music was still playing very loudly from his iPod, and Megan recognized the song. The two bonded over their love for R. Kelly, and then, feeling more comfortable, Biggie - as he told us to call him - revealed how he had ended up in these woods. The story is long and complicated, and therefore we will not relate it here. After chatting for a few more moments, Biggie pulled a small baggie from his fur.
“Any a yous wanna blaze?”
“I’m sorry, what?” asked Lindsay quizzically.
To which Megan translated, “He’s asking us to roll some trees - uh, sorry, smoke some weed with him.”
“Oooh,” they all said in unison, realization dawning. After a moments deliberation, the six of them all partook in the marijuana smoking. About a half hour later, the group wandered into WalMart, armed with a list of the fifty things to do at WalMart. They slowly worked their way through all of them, having particular fun playing Marco Polo, before security guards removed them from the scene.
As dinnertime approached, the time came to say goodbye to Biggie, but it was not without its share of tears and exchanged phone numbers. Biggie went back into the woods, humming “Bottoms Up” by Trey Songz featuring Nicki Minaj, and we went back to school for dinner.
Just another day at Stonehill!
He jumped in surprise when we approached him, and seemed rather frightened by our sudden appearance.
“Ay yo wutz goin on, bitchez?”
At first, none of us could return his greeting, because of the mass quantities of hair on his face that were rather shocking, but then Megan stepped forward and asked the man what he was doing in the woods.
“Whatchu doin in deez woods, man?” she asked casually.
To which he replied that this was his place of residence: “This mah crib, ho.”
Suddenly Julia exclaimed, “Oh my god, it’s Bigfoot!” holding up as evidence the picture she had just looked up on her phone after noticing a slight resemblance.
“Awh, sheeit,” Bigfoot responded unhappily. Before he could leave, we emphatically stopped him, explaining that we were not afraid of him, and would not tell anyone of his existence. As a show of good faith, Julia and Caitlyn both put away their camera phones. The music was still playing very loudly from his iPod, and Megan recognized the song. The two bonded over their love for R. Kelly, and then, feeling more comfortable, Biggie - as he told us to call him - revealed how he had ended up in these woods. The story is long and complicated, and therefore we will not relate it here. After chatting for a few more moments, Biggie pulled a small baggie from his fur.
“Any a yous wanna blaze?”
“I’m sorry, what?” asked Lindsay quizzically.
To which Megan translated, “He’s asking us to roll some trees - uh, sorry, smoke some weed with him.”
“Oooh,” they all said in unison, realization dawning. After a moments deliberation, the six of them all partook in the marijuana smoking. About a half hour later, the group wandered into WalMart, armed with a list of the fifty things to do at WalMart. They slowly worked their way through all of them, having particular fun playing Marco Polo, before security guards removed them from the scene.
As dinnertime approached, the time came to say goodbye to Biggie, but it was not without its share of tears and exchanged phone numbers. Biggie went back into the woods, humming “Bottoms Up” by Trey Songz featuring Nicki Minaj, and we went back to school for dinner.
Just another day at Stonehill!
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Quinting, and Other Assorted News
Due to an unfortunately permanent power outage in the Courts and solely Caitlin Ward’s room in DuLac, the College was forced to relocate the residents of the affected areas. So, we volunteered ourselves for one of the new quints being put together in Donahue Hall. Our first night together, we decided to have something of a celebration. We went with a Snow Hoes and Boarder Bros theme, inviting everyone except for the freshman (because the majority of them are insane). The night of the party, we busily prepared, hanging winter-themed decorations and purchasing 76 bottles of Smirnoff and 1 bottle of Captain Morgan’s, as well as lots of Tampico.
Caitlin, joking around as she usually does, entered one of the many closets in order to hide and surprise Julia and Caitlyn when they returned with the alcohol. Because Megan and Lindsay were busy preparing to make jello shots, they did not notice her disappear into the closet.
Caitlyn and Julia soon returned, but Caitlyn was not there to jump out at them. Unfortunately, upon entering the closet, Caitlin found herself transported to a world that she soon realized was Narnia (based upon her extensive knowledge of both the series of books by C.S. Lewis, and having watched the films many times). Unsure of what else to do, she set off into the snowy universe in order to find her way home.
Meanwhile, the party had begun in Donahue 1134, and was turning out to be a raging success. In the corner, several people partook in the art of ski shots, while several others had a drunken karaoke battle to the song “Baby Got Back” by Sir Mix-a-lot.
“Where is Caitlin?” Lindsay asked Julia, during a lull in their Icing extravaganza.
“Oh, I think I saw her over by the Tampico, dancing with that guy in the banana costume,” Julia answered, before getting down on one knee to drink her Ice.
Back in Narnia, Caitlin had encountered Mr Tumnus, who was busily explaining to her the treacherous ways of the land and the problems that she might encounter on her way back to Donahue 1134. Just as she was turning away from him, a group of men on horseback approached them, and she was soon on her way to adventure.
Having dropped acid, Caitlyn had been wandering around the room pulling insects off of peoples’ faces - or so she thought - for the past few hours. However, by now, many of the drunken party guests had either left or passed out on the floor, and so she spent the time speaking aloud to herself. Approaching the closet that the other Caitlin had entered, she pulled open the doors and was greeted by a gust of snow-filled air, and a glimpse into what appeared to be a land outdoors.
She quickly closed the closet, and vowed to stop doing hardcore drugs, since they apparently really mess with the mind. Shrugging off the experience, she returned to her conversation with Donkey from Shrek, before falling asleep at Megan’s feet in a pile of vomit.
Riding along briskly through the snowy wonderland, a figure in brightly shining armor skillfully traversed a dangerous rocky mountain pathway. Her sword gleamed despite the blood caked on it, and she held it towards the sky in triumph as she spurred her horse onward towards her army’s camp. Decorated with many medals of victory, Caitlin had achieved the rank of General after her last resounding conquest. As she entered the camp, she was met by King Edmund, and as she knelt before him, he congratulated her for her success, and bid her return home, for her heroics had saved many people, and Narnia was now safe again. Soon, she burst out of the closet with a renewed zeal for life, and was met with a scene of destruction and agony.
Stepping around the several bodies on the floor, she made her way over to her bed, and after removing what appeared to be a homeless man, slipped into a deep and restful sleep.
Just another day at Stonehill!
Caitlin, joking around as she usually does, entered one of the many closets in order to hide and surprise Julia and Caitlyn when they returned with the alcohol. Because Megan and Lindsay were busy preparing to make jello shots, they did not notice her disappear into the closet.
Caitlyn and Julia soon returned, but Caitlyn was not there to jump out at them. Unfortunately, upon entering the closet, Caitlin found herself transported to a world that she soon realized was Narnia (based upon her extensive knowledge of both the series of books by C.S. Lewis, and having watched the films many times). Unsure of what else to do, she set off into the snowy universe in order to find her way home.
Meanwhile, the party had begun in Donahue 1134, and was turning out to be a raging success. In the corner, several people partook in the art of ski shots, while several others had a drunken karaoke battle to the song “Baby Got Back” by Sir Mix-a-lot.
“Where is Caitlin?” Lindsay asked Julia, during a lull in their Icing extravaganza.
“Oh, I think I saw her over by the Tampico, dancing with that guy in the banana costume,” Julia answered, before getting down on one knee to drink her Ice.
Back in Narnia, Caitlin had encountered Mr Tumnus, who was busily explaining to her the treacherous ways of the land and the problems that she might encounter on her way back to Donahue 1134. Just as she was turning away from him, a group of men on horseback approached them, and she was soon on her way to adventure.
Having dropped acid, Caitlyn had been wandering around the room pulling insects off of peoples’ faces - or so she thought - for the past few hours. However, by now, many of the drunken party guests had either left or passed out on the floor, and so she spent the time speaking aloud to herself. Approaching the closet that the other Caitlin had entered, she pulled open the doors and was greeted by a gust of snow-filled air, and a glimpse into what appeared to be a land outdoors.
She quickly closed the closet, and vowed to stop doing hardcore drugs, since they apparently really mess with the mind. Shrugging off the experience, she returned to her conversation with Donkey from Shrek, before falling asleep at Megan’s feet in a pile of vomit.
Riding along briskly through the snowy wonderland, a figure in brightly shining armor skillfully traversed a dangerous rocky mountain pathway. Her sword gleamed despite the blood caked on it, and she held it towards the sky in triumph as she spurred her horse onward towards her army’s camp. Decorated with many medals of victory, Caitlin had achieved the rank of General after her last resounding conquest. As she entered the camp, she was met by King Edmund, and as she knelt before him, he congratulated her for her success, and bid her return home, for her heroics had saved many people, and Narnia was now safe again. Soon, she burst out of the closet with a renewed zeal for life, and was met with a scene of destruction and agony.
Stepping around the several bodies on the floor, she made her way over to her bed, and after removing what appeared to be a homeless man, slipped into a deep and restful sleep.
Just another day at Stonehill!
Monday, March 7, 2011
Goin' Down South
With the weather just beginning to turn to Spring - at least, occasionally, in between bouts of freezing cold - we all decided to pile into Big Red and head down South to visit Lindsay's friend Emi in Florida (and fight some gators while we're there). Missing Kelly, we decided to bring her along with us via Skype. Having all packed and buckled our seat belts - excepted for Kelly, who was nestled safely on Lindsay's lap - we pulled out of the Stonehill exit and made our way onto I-95 South, stopping briefly at Dunkies for some Big & Toasties and coffee. Traffic wasn't bad during our time on the highway, and we made our way pleasantly with Megan singing loudly along to the rap songs on the radio and everyone else occasionally joining in with the chorus. Upon seeing the sign for the Washington D.C. exit, we decided to take a brief detour, as we were all hungry for lunch. The streets, however, were confusing, and despite Julia's cellular GPS, we ended up hopelessly lost. Stumbling upon a large white house, we decided to stop and ask for directions. Approaching the door, Julia - being the best with people - rang the doorbell, and we all stood silently, waiting for a response. After several minutes, we determined that no one was home, and we happened to spot an Arby's across the street. So, we all went over to get roast beef and cheddar sandwiches - not noticing the bullet that narrowly missed Caitlin - before finding our way back to the highway.
A few hours later, we passed a 'Welcome to Georgia!' sign, and our spirits rose since we realized we were more than halfway through with our journey. Suddenly, Julia - who had been in charge of directions for the entire trip - was distracted by a text from her friend Patricia. Without guidance, Caitlyn quickly veered from the correct path, and we found ourselves on a dirt road stretching off into the wilderness. With all the screaming and confusion, no one noticed how we had come to this road, and so we had no idea how to get back. Driving slowly down the road, Caitlin noticed that the internet had cut out, and our connection to Kelly was lost.
Almost immediately afterward, the DJ spoke from the radio station that Big Red had been stuck on since Caitlyn broke the dial. For the most part, this station played what seemed like just the right music in every situation. They figured it was like a Mike FM or something, but they had never heard it before. At this moment, the DJ, who seemed to remain constantly on the air, started to speak while the song - the theme from Deliverance, as it turned out - continued to play in the background.
"You're driving in the wrong direction, but you don't even know it. Never get lost again, with TomTom GPS. A word from our sponsors."
"Jeez, that would have been convenient to hear four hours ago when we left Stonehill," Megan remarked.
After driving for a few more minutes in eerie silence, the radio having cut out immediately after the advertisement, we came across a clearing that contained a small shack with chipped paint and an aluminum door. On the front porch, a rocking chair creaked back and forth in the slight breeze. Barely visible beyond the shack was a rusted mobile home, the front door was draped with chili pepper shaped Christmas lights. As we all stepped out of Big Red, a tumbleweed rolled by the front steps, only to get caught in the front of a 50's pickup truck sitting on cement blocks nearby.
"Awesome," Lindsay exclaimed happily. "Now we can ask for directions back to the highway!"
Everyone shrugged in agreement, and we made our way up to the front door. Just before anyone could knock, the door swung open with a loud clang, revealing a short man with wiry red hair. With a crazed look in his eye, he inquired what we reckon we're doing in these parts. We were all too stunned to speak for a moment, as he was dressed in blue denim overalls, each leg cuffed just below the knee. He wore no shirt or shoes, and upon his shocking hair sat an obviously disintegrating straw hat. He seemed to spit the words through the missing spaces where many of his teeth should have been, and the droplets caught in his equally bushy beard.
Caitlyn spoke first, explaining that we had just gotten lost, and were trying to find our way back to the highway. At this point, he smiled, revealing his many missing teeth, and introduced himself as Joe Dave. He informed us that he knew exactly how to get back to the highway, but that he couldn't bear to see us go so soon. He said that his family was just starting to anticipate their dinner, and invited us inside to join them. As we all followed him in, Julia whispered to Megan, "They weren't kidding when they talked about that Southern hospitality!"
He led us into a small living area, with several crates for seating and a large Confederate flag hung on the wall. Already seated on one of the crates in front of a small black-and-white television was a barefoot pregnant woman with two small children seated on her lap. Her smile revealed even fewer teeth than Joe Dave's. We all sat down on our own crate and joined them in watching the NASCAR race on the small TV, while Joe Dave brought us all mugs of moonshine. After a few hours, we felt pretty comfortable with these new friends, as we considered them, since everyone in Joe Dave's family seemed to take a liking to us - especially to Caitlyn and Julia. Eventually, we realized that despite the pot of water boiling in the kitchen, no one was actually preparing any food. We then noticed the odd instruments hanging on the far wall - that we had originally thought were for gardening - and Joe Dave's toothless smile turned sinister. It dawned on us that the dinner we had been promised relied far more on us than we had anticipated.
We quickly gathered our things and fled the house, despite Joe Dave's family's protestations. We somehow managed to find the highway on our own, at which point the internet returned, and we decided that it was probably too late to head to Florida after all. When Kelly finally returned, she asked what had happened in the intervening time, but we told her that it was nothing special. And so we headed back to Stonehill, making it to the caf just in time for a dinner of collard greens, grits, and candied sweet potatoes in celebration of Black History Month.
Just another day at Stonehill!
A few hours later, we passed a 'Welcome to Georgia!' sign, and our spirits rose since we realized we were more than halfway through with our journey. Suddenly, Julia - who had been in charge of directions for the entire trip - was distracted by a text from her friend Patricia. Without guidance, Caitlyn quickly veered from the correct path, and we found ourselves on a dirt road stretching off into the wilderness. With all the screaming and confusion, no one noticed how we had come to this road, and so we had no idea how to get back. Driving slowly down the road, Caitlin noticed that the internet had cut out, and our connection to Kelly was lost.
Almost immediately afterward, the DJ spoke from the radio station that Big Red had been stuck on since Caitlyn broke the dial. For the most part, this station played what seemed like just the right music in every situation. They figured it was like a Mike FM or something, but they had never heard it before. At this moment, the DJ, who seemed to remain constantly on the air, started to speak while the song - the theme from Deliverance, as it turned out - continued to play in the background.
"You're driving in the wrong direction, but you don't even know it. Never get lost again, with TomTom GPS. A word from our sponsors."
"Jeez, that would have been convenient to hear four hours ago when we left Stonehill," Megan remarked.
After driving for a few more minutes in eerie silence, the radio having cut out immediately after the advertisement, we came across a clearing that contained a small shack with chipped paint and an aluminum door. On the front porch, a rocking chair creaked back and forth in the slight breeze. Barely visible beyond the shack was a rusted mobile home, the front door was draped with chili pepper shaped Christmas lights. As we all stepped out of Big Red, a tumbleweed rolled by the front steps, only to get caught in the front of a 50's pickup truck sitting on cement blocks nearby.
"Awesome," Lindsay exclaimed happily. "Now we can ask for directions back to the highway!"
Everyone shrugged in agreement, and we made our way up to the front door. Just before anyone could knock, the door swung open with a loud clang, revealing a short man with wiry red hair. With a crazed look in his eye, he inquired what we reckon we're doing in these parts. We were all too stunned to speak for a moment, as he was dressed in blue denim overalls, each leg cuffed just below the knee. He wore no shirt or shoes, and upon his shocking hair sat an obviously disintegrating straw hat. He seemed to spit the words through the missing spaces where many of his teeth should have been, and the droplets caught in his equally bushy beard.
Caitlyn spoke first, explaining that we had just gotten lost, and were trying to find our way back to the highway. At this point, he smiled, revealing his many missing teeth, and introduced himself as Joe Dave. He informed us that he knew exactly how to get back to the highway, but that he couldn't bear to see us go so soon. He said that his family was just starting to anticipate their dinner, and invited us inside to join them. As we all followed him in, Julia whispered to Megan, "They weren't kidding when they talked about that Southern hospitality!"
He led us into a small living area, with several crates for seating and a large Confederate flag hung on the wall. Already seated on one of the crates in front of a small black-and-white television was a barefoot pregnant woman with two small children seated on her lap. Her smile revealed even fewer teeth than Joe Dave's. We all sat down on our own crate and joined them in watching the NASCAR race on the small TV, while Joe Dave brought us all mugs of moonshine. After a few hours, we felt pretty comfortable with these new friends, as we considered them, since everyone in Joe Dave's family seemed to take a liking to us - especially to Caitlyn and Julia. Eventually, we realized that despite the pot of water boiling in the kitchen, no one was actually preparing any food. We then noticed the odd instruments hanging on the far wall - that we had originally thought were for gardening - and Joe Dave's toothless smile turned sinister. It dawned on us that the dinner we had been promised relied far more on us than we had anticipated.
We quickly gathered our things and fled the house, despite Joe Dave's family's protestations. We somehow managed to find the highway on our own, at which point the internet returned, and we decided that it was probably too late to head to Florida after all. When Kelly finally returned, she asked what had happened in the intervening time, but we told her that it was nothing special. And so we headed back to Stonehill, making it to the caf just in time for a dinner of collard greens, grits, and candied sweet potatoes in celebration of Black History Month.
Just another day at Stonehill!
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Julia, the Heroine
Recently, Caitlyn’s boyfriend Patrick decided to make the three hour journey from Walpole to Stonehill via train. Since no commuter rail (or otherwise) comes directly to Stonehill, it became necessary for Caitlyn, Julia, and Caitlin to pick him up from the Campello station in Brockton. During this somewhat arduous journey, the three happened to pass by a home completely engulfed in flames next to Burger King. After stopping for a moment to admire and giggle at a seagull perched on top of an occupied minivan, the three decided to help nearby firefighters to extinguish the flames.
While Caitlyn and Caitlin worked with a fire hydrant and hose, Julia happened to hear the faint scream of a child from inside the building. Not thinking twice, she darted into the collapsing wooden home with her head down and her determination high. Through the thick smoke and heavy flames covering the windows, the two Caitlyins watched as Julia kicked down a metal door, lifted a bed that was thrown in front of a closet by an explosion, and then ripped the closet door off of the hinges before casually pulling a small child from his hiding place inside. Stuffing the child under her thick winter jacket, she shielded his sensitive eyes and nose from the billowing smoke and flames. She then was forced to dive from a second story window upon realizing that the staircase had collapsed, but she then proceeded to land safely on a snow bank below. She placed the child into the mother’s arms before returning to the Caitlyins as though nothing had happened. However, she did catch someone’s eye with her heroic feat.
A man, a firefighter of course, approached Julia with something of a shy compliment. “That was very brave of you,” he whispered through his straight white teeth and then smiled broadly as Julia thanked him for the compliment, but assured him that it was nothing. The two talked briefly before making plans to go to dinner that night at Bertucci’s. “I can even use my Hillcard!” Julia exclaimed, “and you know I would sell my first born child for the recipe for those rolls!” The firefighter did not actually know that at the time, but not long into their first official date, the two felt as though they had known each other a lifetime. Looking into his eyes over their shared plate of chicken parm, Julia felt as though she saw something familiar and knew that this must be love.
After a few weeks of wonderful romance, Roger (as we learned his name to be) took Julia on a Caribbean vacation. Amidst the white sand and the clear blue water, snorkeling and sipping cocktails when they were not making passionate love in every possible way, Roger and Julia professed their love for each other.
Upon returning to Massachusetts, Roger felt that it was time for Julia to meet his family. Roger’s mother took to Julia immediately, claiming that she reminded her of her own daughter. The family laughed together over dinner and then sipped tea in the living room afterwards, glancing through old photo albums featuring baby Roger in his underwear. Julia blushed. From one of the old volumes fell a family tree. Julia picked it up first, before the others noticed and upon looking it over stuffed it in her pocket and asked Roger’s mother for another cup of tea.
Julia grew very pale as the night went on. Roger asked if she was sick, which she denied, and when he attempted to follow her inside that night, she politely declined. Julia slowly cut off all contact with Roger, despite his pleas for her to take him back. The last time she saw him he threw the engagement ring that he had bought for her at her head. She ducked and never thought of him again.
Just another day at Stonehill!
While Caitlyn and Caitlin worked with a fire hydrant and hose, Julia happened to hear the faint scream of a child from inside the building. Not thinking twice, she darted into the collapsing wooden home with her head down and her determination high. Through the thick smoke and heavy flames covering the windows, the two Caitlyins watched as Julia kicked down a metal door, lifted a bed that was thrown in front of a closet by an explosion, and then ripped the closet door off of the hinges before casually pulling a small child from his hiding place inside. Stuffing the child under her thick winter jacket, she shielded his sensitive eyes and nose from the billowing smoke and flames. She then was forced to dive from a second story window upon realizing that the staircase had collapsed, but she then proceeded to land safely on a snow bank below. She placed the child into the mother’s arms before returning to the Caitlyins as though nothing had happened. However, she did catch someone’s eye with her heroic feat.
A man, a firefighter of course, approached Julia with something of a shy compliment. “That was very brave of you,” he whispered through his straight white teeth and then smiled broadly as Julia thanked him for the compliment, but assured him that it was nothing. The two talked briefly before making plans to go to dinner that night at Bertucci’s. “I can even use my Hillcard!” Julia exclaimed, “and you know I would sell my first born child for the recipe for those rolls!” The firefighter did not actually know that at the time, but not long into their first official date, the two felt as though they had known each other a lifetime. Looking into his eyes over their shared plate of chicken parm, Julia felt as though she saw something familiar and knew that this must be love.
After a few weeks of wonderful romance, Roger (as we learned his name to be) took Julia on a Caribbean vacation. Amidst the white sand and the clear blue water, snorkeling and sipping cocktails when they were not making passionate love in every possible way, Roger and Julia professed their love for each other.
Upon returning to Massachusetts, Roger felt that it was time for Julia to meet his family. Roger’s mother took to Julia immediately, claiming that she reminded her of her own daughter. The family laughed together over dinner and then sipped tea in the living room afterwards, glancing through old photo albums featuring baby Roger in his underwear. Julia blushed. From one of the old volumes fell a family tree. Julia picked it up first, before the others noticed and upon looking it over stuffed it in her pocket and asked Roger’s mother for another cup of tea.
Julia grew very pale as the night went on. Roger asked if she was sick, which she denied, and when he attempted to follow her inside that night, she politely declined. Julia slowly cut off all contact with Roger, despite his pleas for her to take him back. The last time she saw him he threw the engagement ring that he had bought for her at her head. She ducked and never thought of him again.
Just another day at Stonehill!
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Digging Out, the Mysterious Path, and a New Friend
In the wake of another large snowstorm, it became necessary for those of us with vehicles to somehow remove them from Lot 17. This mass movement was prompted by an extremely urgent email from Campo - using nine exclamation points, total - expressing how much they needed us to put our cars in any other possible lot. So, this fateful night, we journey to 17 amidst hordes of other students, and - not surprisingly - struggled to find our cars. Finally, we gave up on Megan and Julia’s cars, and searched exclusively for Big Red. As it began to grow dark, we found ourselves utterly and completely lost. Our toes growing cold, we finally came across what looked like the entrance to a carefully hidden path. It appeared to be guarded by some sort of shrunken head.
Intrigued, we obviously decided to follow the path. We walked for hours, and around midnight we came upon what looked like some sort of homeless man’s temporary winter shelter. Faintly, we could hear the sounds of The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars. Specifically, the song Lady Stardust. Thinking we probably find a drunk homeless man inside, we decided to enter the little lair. Unfortunately, we were greeted by a somewhat ornery Yeti, who promptly attacked Lindsay.
She immediately sprang backwards, screaming “what the hell?!” as someone with a British accent began apologizing profusely. We soon realized, this voice belonged to the Yeti. We got to chatting, and he explained that he was quite unaccustomed to visitors, and had simply been startled by our sudden appearance. He quickly got Lindsay an ice pack from his small refrigerator, and invited us to sit down on his leopard-print sofa for a drink.
While Suffragette City played in the background, the Yeti explained to us how he had come to be in Massachusetts, relatively close to Stonehill College. The story is long and involved, quite complicated, and therefore we will not share it with you now. All you really need to know, is that Customs is not as secure as you would think. We soon learned the Yeti was far cooler than we had assumed, and after Labyrinth, a game of Twister, and three bottles of wine, the Yeti walked us back to Lot 17 and after helping us locate Big Red, single-handedly pulled it out of the snow. We exchanged phone numbers and a tearful goodbye. Caitlin was particularly broken up about it.
Then, we all piled into Big Red, and Caitlyn attempted to turn on the radio, but accidentally broke the knob off, landing on a random station that none of us recognized. Ironically, it was playing Under Pressure, that song by David Bowie and that guy from Queen. We chuckled over the coincidence as we pulled into Duffy Lot. Just as Caitlyn was turning off the car, the song ended, and the DJ said, “you’d be surprised how much those big, reclusive guys like David Bowie.”
But no one heard it, and no one cared.
Just another day at Stonehill!
[group picture to come!]
Intrigued, we obviously decided to follow the path. We walked for hours, and around midnight we came upon what looked like some sort of homeless man’s temporary winter shelter. Faintly, we could hear the sounds of The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars. Specifically, the song Lady Stardust. Thinking we probably find a drunk homeless man inside, we decided to enter the little lair. Unfortunately, we were greeted by a somewhat ornery Yeti, who promptly attacked Lindsay.
She immediately sprang backwards, screaming “what the hell?!” as someone with a British accent began apologizing profusely. We soon realized, this voice belonged to the Yeti. We got to chatting, and he explained that he was quite unaccustomed to visitors, and had simply been startled by our sudden appearance. He quickly got Lindsay an ice pack from his small refrigerator, and invited us to sit down on his leopard-print sofa for a drink.
While Suffragette City played in the background, the Yeti explained to us how he had come to be in Massachusetts, relatively close to Stonehill College. The story is long and involved, quite complicated, and therefore we will not share it with you now. All you really need to know, is that Customs is not as secure as you would think. We soon learned the Yeti was far cooler than we had assumed, and after Labyrinth, a game of Twister, and three bottles of wine, the Yeti walked us back to Lot 17 and after helping us locate Big Red, single-handedly pulled it out of the snow. We exchanged phone numbers and a tearful goodbye. Caitlin was particularly broken up about it.
Then, we all piled into Big Red, and Caitlyn attempted to turn on the radio, but accidentally broke the knob off, landing on a random station that none of us recognized. Ironically, it was playing Under Pressure, that song by David Bowie and that guy from Queen. We chuckled over the coincidence as we pulled into Duffy Lot. Just as Caitlyn was turning off the car, the song ended, and the DJ said, “you’d be surprised how much those big, reclusive guys like David Bowie.”
But no one heard it, and no one cared.
Just another day at Stonehill!
[group picture to come!]
Meet the Authors
Caitlin is an award-winning classical pianist under the name Kathryn Matsuzaka. She is currently attending 17 law schools simultaneously, and has been to Zimbabwe twice. As an avid xango lover, she has also collaborated with popular international superstar M$ on the breakout hit “Bananas, Cream Cheese, and Caramel.”
At one time called “The Black Widow,” Julia has been married four times, and has also been featured on the cover of TIME Magazine. In the article, “Black Widow?,” she discusses her attraction to firefighters - the profession of all four of her husbands - and the unfortunate circumstances that lead to all of their deaths.
Like David Hasselhoff, M$ is very popular in Germany. A rapper and actress, her most popular hit, “Um, Go Ahead,” has been number one on every chart for over 30 years. You may have seen her in her most recent film, “Achtung, Brute,” a modern-day German adaptation of the Shakespeare play, Julius Caesar, in which she portrays Juliet Caesar.
The 50 Cent of novelists, Lindsay has been shot nine times. Her most popular novel, Untrimmed Valleys, was praised as a beautiful and moving portrayal of modern womanhood. She has also written for TIME Magazine, even interviewing the notorious Black Widow, and the uncatchable assassin Bonecrusher.
Caitlyn enjoys wearing sweaters and eating sushi. Originally from the Deep South, she still supports the Confederate revival. In her free time, she also works as a private detective and a trained assassin under the alias Bonecrusher.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)